Listen to... Perfume - 1mm

Perfume's Level 3 era has been a grower era for the most part, with their singles and B-sides not instantly catching on for me. I'll confess to having lost some faith in these girls ever since they wrapped up JPN. But this lack of faith turned into full blown belief upon seeing them live during their World tour 2nd, which has now been topped up by the unveiling of a new track "1mm" from their upcoming album Level 3 - a song about Perfume needing big dicks in their lives.

Perfume are serving 80's pop crack, Daft Punk Discovery realness and running around shopping aisles with a trolley just collecting the wigs of every woman they pass. Everything about this song is pure killer and no filler. The song doesn't really switch up in any way, their vocals aren't heavily processed (which seems to be a theme with what we've heard from Level 3 so far) and the tempo is dialled down completely from all of the Level 3 singles and B-sides. If I were to compare it to anything they had done before, I'd compare it to "Spice". Straight 80's pop. All killer, no filler.

Nakata came the fuck through with this joint. Only he could throw Celtic bagpipes and a Kazoo on an 80's synth pop jam and make it work.

Perfume will also be shooting a video for "1mm". There are no plans for it to be a single as of yet, but there will definitely be a video. Can't wait to see my Robohoes step it out to this and work some back and neck during that ♪ Ahhh-ah-ahhhhh-ahhha ♪.

It's hearing jams from Perfume like this that make me completely roll my eyes when we get shit like "Mirai no museum". I know, I know. 'But it was for a kid's TV show', but I don't care. I don't want that shit from Perfume, I WANT DIS!!

Listen to... MiChi - Saturday night

MiChi took time from Instagramming pictures of flowers and her drunken homegirls to put out a new double A-side single. One of the tracks being the English language "Saturday night". The song is a complete U-turn from what MiChi has done before. She has ditched the club heaviness of Up to you and the guitar thrashing of Therapy and gone disco instead, because ya know...disco is in right now. Except MiChi pulls this shit off like she wasn't really trying to jump on anybodies bandwagon. Let's all please take a moment to remember MiChi's debut Up to you and how she was on Euro house, EDM, dubstep and 5 minute songs with about 3 beat switches years before your fave started doing it.

I love that MiChi has gone with this as an A-side single, as it's the type of song MiChi usually relegates to B-sides, but I'm not in love with the song itself. I'm still bitter that MiChi didn't release "Sound of love". But it's good to know she's still on her music shit and it's great to hear that she's switched up her sound again.

Let us all put our heads together and pray that MiChi's third studio album is more Up to you and less Therapy. I loved Therapy, but Up to you was perfection and much more unique in its execution of delivering solid start to finish pop songs and typifying that unmistakable MiChi sound.

We should also hope that Sony cough up enough money for a decent music video. Because MiChi has been given 500 yen budgets for every video she's shot so far. I want MiChi in the club wearing that blue suit and showing me MOVES like Capitan Falcon.

Get acquainted: Who is MiChi?
Album reviews: Up to you | Therapy

Listen to... Lady Gaga - Applause

Lady Gaga's brand new lead single from her third studio album Artflop is out for the Monsters to get their paws on. And as much as many of you would probably love for me to cuss this song out, because hating on Gaga is the cool thing to do: I like this song.

I zone out whenever Lady Gaga tries to deliver a song with 'meaning' because it always feels contrived. I have no time for Madonna when she wants to try and get deep and political on a song, so Gaga needs to watch herself. Pop artists should just do Pop songs. Don't try to tell me how to live my life, unless your life advice is to get gang crunked in a club on a weekend and ball out on a budget.

Gaga tries her damnest to slip some message shit into "Applause", but the chorus pretty much overrides what she's saying on the verses to the point where you forget what she was even talking about.

♪ Applowse. Applowse. Applowse. I live for the applowse, 'plowse. Live for the applowse, 'plowse. Live fo' the ♪

The fact that this is the part of the song I can easily remember is fine with me. It's one of the best parts of the song. This and that bit when she starts screaming about making dem hands touch.

I don't think I've liked a Gaga song this much since "Paparazzi". Go Gaga!

Listen to... Beyoncé - Grown woman (Monsieur Adi remix)

Beyoncé is yet to release a single. But the song which we all thought was going to be a single (and really shoulda been) has already seen itself get an official remix. French remixer Monsieur Adi takes the African percussive female anthem and transforms it into a funked up electro disco banger of epic proportions, which sounds like something from Daft Punk, circa 2004. Something's in the water in France. I'm convinced now more than ever.

I always love when a remix takes the original song and turns it on it's head. It's how a remix should be done. I love this. It'd be great if Beyoncé switched things up on her tour and began perform this version at select shows. Although she'd have to re-work the entire set, as the African theme of the original setup would lose all context seeing as Adi wiped all trace of that away with his remix.

And just like that, fans have another slice of Beyoncé material to tide them over until the phantom album materializes into something real and Columbia bother to make this woman release a single.

Listen to... Justin Timberlake - Take back the night

Justin is officially done with the first part of The 20/20 experience. Those "Tunnel vision" titties haven't been on YouTube for 14 days and he is already dropping a follow up single from the second part of The 20/20 experience. I can not believe RCA records let Justin pass on releasing "Don't hold the wall" and "Let the groove get in" as singles - something I will stay mad that Justin for until he's back with Britney and pigs fly.

Now let's talk about JT's new-new and get the obvious out the way. This shit sounds like Michael Jackson. Most of Justin Timberlake's material wreaks of Michael's Saturday night weave. But "Take back the night" sounds like some straight Off the wall Quincy shit. It's a nice song. I like it. But it's nothing amazing. It's very pedestrian. And as with half of the songs on The 20/20 experience, it's 2 minutes too long. It doesn't even feature a middle 8 or a beat switch.

If this is the kind of vibe JT is going for for his second part to The 20/20 experience, then I hope Pharrell Williams is / was a part of it. I've been waiting on P and JT to team up again since Justified. I'd love to hear what the 2 of them would cook up in the studio now. Especially with Justin on his throwback shit and Pharrell having gone old skool with Daft Punk and Nile Rodgers. Robin Thicke would spit blood over that reunion, I'm sure.

Listen to... M.I.A. - Bring the noize

Was anybody awaiting this woman to make a comeback? I can't say I was, but it's cool to hear something new from her. She best not talk out the side of her mouth about how other chicks in pop be conforming though. Not after she mimed on stage alongside Nicki Minaj and Madonna at the Super bowl. I wouldn't say M.I.A. sold out, but thousands would. She best act humble.

"Bring the noize" is of a different gear for an M.I.A single. She usually goes for songs which feel much more like sing-a-longs and are void of any real rapping. But "Bring the noize" showcases M.I.A's rap skills in a way in which we've not heard on a single before. The whole vibe and M.I.A's tight rapid fire delivery reminds me of "XR2" from Kala, which was my favourite song off that album. With any luck we'll get a swagtastic video like "Bad girls" to go along with the song. I want to see chicks in Kenzo jungle print Burka's and Air Max 1's, popping and locking their pussies in a shanty town in front of a Volkswagon Polo.

M.I.A forth studio album Matangi is due for release later this year. I can't wait to see the horrendous album artwork for it. She's got a really tough act to follow with Maya's cluster fuck of YouTube player bars.

Listen to... Mutya Keisha Siobhan - Flatline

The Mutya Keisha Siobhan (who I will continue to call the 'Sugababes' regardless of legality issues with the name following that shit which happened 4 years ago) have finally lifted the lid on their brand new single. And d'ya know what? It's awesome.

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from their new single prior to hearing it, but "Flatline" hits the mark. Much like their debut single "Overload" it doesn't smack you square between the eyes on a first listen. Yet, there is something irresistibly alluring about it. And before long you're loving it and playing that One touch album in disbelief that this is actually happening. The original Sugababes are back together again, giving The Saturday's and Girls aloud their life with one hand and snatching their cheap hair extensions with the other.

"Flatline" is a breath of fresh air at a time when UK girl groups are scrambling on their hands and knees to catch a hit and find a sound which sticks for longer than KISS FM are willing to play it on the radio.

Mutya, Keisha, Siobhan and Dev Hynes. Making your fave girl groups' latest single sound like a reductive mess.

If you're wondering what happened to Amelle, Jade or Heidi, you can find them at select Post office's on a Monday, cashing their benefits cheques.

Listen to... a ragged ass version of Beyoncé's "Standing on the sun"

"Standing on the sun" - another single which should have been, but never was and ain't never gonna be is doing the rounds online. Which means that Blue Ivy is at it again. Stealing mummy's USB sticks and uploading songs via Zshare. As with the "Grown woman" leak this version has the sound of a crowd all over it. And likewise as with "Grown woman", the version we heard Hennes and Mauritzyoncé perform live acts (for now) as the definitive version of the song.

This particular leak isn't much to get excited about. You don't hear a great deal more than you hear in the H&M commercial aside from a really short second verse and an instrumental passage of the song. And it seems pretty clear that this either an early version of the song or a fan made cut and paste job, as it differs heavily from the version Beyoncé had performed in Belgium. The intro is different, Raggayoncé's rap is omitted, as is the breakdown featuring Mr. Vegas. As I say all this, I wonder why I am even bothering to post this shit.

Word is abound that Timbaland is the producer of this song. There's nothing distinctively Timbo about this production and I never would have thought for a second that he was the producer of the song. So I'm going to be sceptical of piece of information until I see some liner notes or Scamyoncé or Timbaland confirm this themselves. I'm not convinced Timbaland produced this, but I could be completely wrong. And the more I listen to this the more I convince myself that he could have. If I were to have heard the first half of Justin Timberlake's "Pusher love girl" or "Blue ocean floor" prior to knowing Timbaland was involved with them, I never would have thought he had anything to do with either song, so... *shrugs*

And alas, we still await news on a single and that album. Everything is currently pointing towards an end of year release, which may not be as terrible as everybody is making out. Everything Beyoncé has done since her Super bowl performance has essentially been promotion to fuel the release of this upcoming album, so it may work out well in her favour.

Listen to... Namie Amuro - Hands on me

Hello there readers. I have a giant Tupperware bowl here full of all the negative things we ALL said about Namie's new album. Things like "I don't care about this shit", "I won't buy it", "This bitch don't know what she's doing" and "This album ain't gonna feature anything good on it". Now...I'm going to need everybody to reach into this Tupperware right here and take back what they said. Because a new song of Namie's has surfaced and it's hot. I know it's hot. You know it's hot. So just take back what the fuck you said and throw that shit in the bin, eat it. Do what you like with it. Just make sure you get rid of it, because Namie is too busy not fucking around to have time fo' dat.

"Hands on me" is payback. It's insurance. It's everything you you thought Namie was not going to give. It's a Summer banger which makes other bitches Summer bangers sound like Nokia 3210 polyphonic ringtones. I can't understand a word she's saying, but I know she's singing about being a fleak in the club. This woman went from singing about love in an anthem for world peace, to a jam about wanting a man to put his hands on her titties and show her what he can do with his good hand and his best finger. NamILF is in the building. Your fave is in Mister Donut on the other side of the road wondering what the hell they are going to do now.

♪ Don't bark. A sock attack. Go heart. Yeah I rike it like dat! ♪

Listen to... Kylie Minogue - Skirt

Kylie's birthday present to her fans this year was her dropping her skirt. Not literally. Well, kinda. Kylie posted the a new song of her online, giving fans a taste of the new material she's been working on since signing to Roc nation.

"Skirt" is produced by US DJ / producer Nom De Strip and co-written by The Dream, who needs no introduction at this point; but I shall name drop some of his biggest hits - just for clarification. Rihanna's "Umbrella", Beyoncé's "Single ladies (Put a ring on it)" and Justin Bieber's "Baby" - all written by The-Dream.

"Skirt" is a plunge in a pool that everybody has been chillin' in and pissing in for the past 4 years. And whilst many are claiming it's unlike anything Kylie has done before, it really isn't. Kylie went the EDM and wub-wubble route on her flop 2010 release X with the Bloodshy & Avant helmed "Nu-di-ty" (one of my fave tracks from that album) and lyrically she is singing about the exact same thing. The refrains are a little too ravey and skirt on the side of Euphoric dance which I really can not stand. But I love the filthiness of the hook. There's no word as to whether "Skirt" will become a single or if it will feature on her upcoming album at all, but it's something to whet appetites until Kylie's new album drops.

As a result of signing to Roc nation, Kylie has hit the studio with a roster of US-centric producers which includes Pharrell Williams, Rodney 'Darkchild' Jerkins, Tricky Stewart and Stargate. Fans had best hope this new album of Kylie's doesn't end up going the route of Madgina's Hard candy, which it very well could. Although in Pharrell's defence, his contributions to that album were pretty decent.

Listen to... Beyoncé - Grown woman

Pepsiyoncé was ready to leave her stan n***as thirsty in the hive for new material. But that was until Kelly Rowland dropped "Dirty laundry" and caught a wave of praise in a storm of positive press. Home girl soon changed her tune and had Blue Ivy upload "Grown woman" to Zshare.

When "Grown woman" premiered in the Pepsi commercial, I liked the song, but didn't think it was anything special. But then I saw a video of Pepsiyoncé miming performing it on her tour and I fell in love with it. Her vocals were sassy, fun and energetic. And Timbaland's percussive backdrop provided the perfect soundtrack for Beyoncé to pop her pussy to and get down like she's at a Zambian bush party. But the studio recorded version sounds utterly tame and completely lax in comparison. Beyoncé's energy is at level 0. She sounds dead pan and controlled. There are no ad-libs. She doesn't go off on this shit the way she does when she performs it live and the backing vocals sound as though they are missing about 5 layers and a fat Suga mama. The whole thing is carried solely by Timbaland's production which is way more on point than I expected from him, even in lieu of his stellar work on The 20/20 experience. I needed Beyoncé to scream over this shit and give me full "Get me bodied" style neck snappin' with this shit. Not half arse the damn thing. I am disappoint.

As it is, "Grown woman" is the type of song which would need to be synonymous with a strong visual. It's my recollection of her miming performing it live which plays in my head every time I listen to the song and it's this which keeps me playing this song. I do like "Grown woman". The beat is as infectious as fuck. If you heard it drop in a club you would go to town on the floor like you are 3 tequila's gone at your cousin Oyindamola's birthday party. It is a cool encapsulation of Beyoncé's style as a whole. It's very typically her. But Beyoncé should have gone to town with the vocals. The song is a celebration of her as a woman and an artist, but I get none of that from her when I listen to this. I really do hope she re-records the vocals for the final version of the song.

Album reviews: I am...Sasha Fierce | 4

Listen... Perfume - Magic of love

Let's get one thing straight. "Magic of love" is an upgrade from "Mirai no museum". I can actually listen to this song without wanting to throw up in my own mouth.

Much in the same way we were all punk'd when the "Spring of life" teaser dropped, we got punk'd in exactly he same way upon hearing "Magic of love" in the TV commercial - which gave absolutely no sign that the verses would feature such a drastic change in melody. The melody change on the verses isn't the only shocker. The girls get solo spots void of any backing vocals, auto tune or vocoding. It's refreshing to hear and adds a completely new element to the song as you get to hear the robohoes sing in a way we've not heard before. But it pretty much confirms that these bitches really cannot sing. I love Nocchi like I love my Super Nintendo. But she can't sing to save a life.

I'm on the fence with "Magic of love". But the more I listen to it, the more I like it. I think "Magic of love" is going to be a slow burner for me. I'll probably love it by the time they release the album it features on, but until then I'll keep playing the shit out of "Spending all my time". Yes. I still play that repetitive, Engrished out EDM jam. It's perfection.

I've not been wholly in love with Perfume's singles this era with the exception of "Spending all my time", which is leaving me concerned for the album which will follow. If Nakata isn't bastardizing the girls' sound, he's playing it wholly safe. Pussy Pamyu is getting the best of his material for her singles which is making Perfume's shit sound even worse.

Listen to... #Beautiful - Starring Mariah Carey & Miguel

Originally tagged as '#Beautiful starring Mariah Carey & Miguel', it should be renamed 'Miguel featuring Mariah Carey'. Because it sounds like Mariah hopped right onto Miguel's shit. Fuck a Mariah album. This should be on a re-reissue of Kaleidoscope dream.

I love this song though and I'm surprised at how strong Mariah's vocals sound. I was expecting her to sound like Bea Arthur on a respirator. But this song could have been just as hot without Mariah on it. Or alternatively just Mariah on it. The song doesn't feel like much of a duet and you never get the feeling Mariah and Miguel are singing about one another - which is fine. But there just seems to be no chemistry.

The one thing I've always liked about when Mariah has features on her songs is that they feel like more than your average feature - with Mariah and her featuring artist going back and forth vocally or with Mariah singing along to the bars of rappers. It always feels like a co-effort with Mariah being unselfish in sharing mic time, sometimes too much so. But with the way this song is arranged, it feels as though Miguel just gmailed Mariah the track and was like "Just put your vocals in the section where my ass ain't singing". Their vocals never intertwine and meld together they way I feel they should have. It's a shame, because the song is really nice. It's one of the hottest songs Mariah's been affiliated with in a while and I dig it because it's completely different for her. I just wish Mariah and Miguel had more of a vocal chemistry.

And this hashtagging of song titles needs to stop. That shit is tacky.

Listen to... Daft Punk featuring Pharrell William - Get lucky

Daft Punk's lead single from their long awaited fourth studio album Random access memories has dropped in full. 100% official. Legit full version of the song. None of this fan made, spliced together shit which was running rampant on YouTube and even fooled radio into spinning it. (N***a's be desperate).

If you've heard the clip of the song which had been circulating heavily over the past 2 weeks, then you'd have already decided at that point whether you liked the song or not. The full song is pretty much the well worn preview, just...longer and with a few note drops and changes here and there. So if you weren't feeling the preview, you may want to pass on this one. But if you were ultimately sprung off of the legendary Nile Rodgers funky guitar playing, Pharrell's oh-so-familiar falsetto and that unmistakable Daft Punk stank, then soak this track up in all its full glory. This shit makes me wanna holla at Link to play an Ocarina, take me back to Studio 54 and electric slide on bitches under a disco ball.

This is only the radio edit of the song. So one can only hope the album version features an extra minute of funk, just to let people know that Daft Punk ain't playing no games with the 70's disco throwback.

Daft Punk just out funked your faves' album in 4 minutes and 11 seconds.